blaming earth

On December 4, 2013, University of Arizona graduate student Vanessa Bailey, leader of an international team of astronomers, detailed the discovery of HD 106906 b, two years later, on Wednesday 15th April 2015 NASA's further research enabled them come up with a conclusion that makes earth look stupid

The space agency’s researchers told the media that the recently identified planet, HD 904790 b,
 lead researcher Lisa Shapiro: “This is a thrilling and scientifically vital discovery that has substantially furthered our understanding of how much Earth truly sucks,” , emphasizing that Earth appears to be “straight-up dogshit” when contrasted with HD 904790 b’s exceptional terrain and climate. Situated within the Milky Way’s Cygnus constellation, HD 904790 b possesses a frustratingly high number of attractive geological, atmospheric, and hydrological features that we poor saps living on Earth can only dream of, NASA officials reported. In particular, the newly discovered planet is said to contain lush, flowering biomes across all of its 340 million square miles (unlike earth's 196,939,900) , which reportedly do not include any of the barren tundras, glacial ice shelves, or arid deserts that contribute to Earth’s status as a lousy.“HD 904790 b has an extensive ring system that dwarfs Saturn’s, zero tectonic plate activity, and more fresh water in just one of its massive, unpolluted oceans than we have on our entire worthless shits-tain of a planet,” she continued. “God, it makes me angry just to think of how much nicer it is there.”

Astronomer Gary Lopes: “When you take into account everything HD 904790 b has going for it, it makes you feel embarrassed to be associated with our dumb fucking world,” , pointing to the planet’s dozen colorful, reflective moons that make Earth’s sole natural satellite look like the total joke that it is. “I used to think that the Himalayas were impressive, but not after we received data showing that this new planet has thousands of towering volcanic peaks that blow Mount Everest right out of the water. It’s flat-out humiliating to have to compare our planet against that.”, noting how the least remarkable square mile of HD 904790 b far outweighs the very best that Earth has to offer in terms of physical grandeur and mineral richness,“

 Astronomer Samantha Wilhelm:  There’s no way I’m going to keep exploring the galaxy if it’s just going to make me feel like a complete dipshit for ever believing that my planet was anything special,”, if my team discovered a planet that was even better than HD 904790 b, i will “fucking kill [myself] on the spot.” NASA astronomers had calculated that it would take them approximately 300,000 years to reach the new planet in a space capsule, but unanimously agreed that it was worth a shot rather than “spend another day on this stupid lump of shitnew science discoveries